‘That’s no moon…It’s a space station!’

Nothing screams adventure like a long tedious journey through weight loss. Am I right? Most of my life has been spent being overweight. However I didn’t really notice until I was in the 6th grade. Middle school kids can be brutal. Laughing at a joke a boy (who I still know to this day, planet-581239_640and who is the sweetest, nicest person on the planet) pointed out my double chin. That day I went home, stepped on the scale, and noted I weighed 180 lbs. I was crushed-like a fat kid diving on a twinkie crushed.  I didn’t know weight mattered. I had never felt self conscious about it before. I spent the better part of middle and high school watching the boys dance with my friends and maybe with me out of pity. “It must be my weight,” I thought. I was quiet. Reserved. I had a few select close friends who I felt I couldn’t ever compete with.

I wanted to be skinny. I wanted to be popular. Skinny would make me popular. I knew this. My mind worked like the 100 young adult movies that are out there: reserved girl turns totally popular, scores the guy, happy obnoxious ending.  It had to be the answer. I saw it work for my good friend. In 6th grade she was just like me, then she lost tons of weight. EVERYONE paid attention to everything she did. Years later I would learn she had developed an eating disorder. However, in that moment, she was everything I wanted to be.

I tried everything. Some things I’m not so proud of. Yet here I am in my thirties pushing 300 lbs. Several years ago my doctor noted I had high blood pressure at 22. No one should have high blood pressure at 22. He suggested a diet and I rocked it. I lost a decent amount of weight and the high blood pressure vanished. Then, I gained it all back. Wah, wah, waaaaah.

I like eating and junk food. What can I say? A few years ago I had one of those epiphanies. Like a Jesus take the wheel epiphany. After a shower I looked in the mirror and noticed I had four thighs. FOUR. I had thigh rolls ON TOP of my thighs. For those of you who aren’t over weight imagine a set of boobs on top of another set of boobs (guys don’t get too excited, they would get sweaty, and dirty, and smelly, AAAAAND I digress). I again entered the weight loss adventure. I again lost a large amount of weight. Then, I went on a trip to Vegas and WHOOPS there goes the wagon… Right out from under me and rolling down the hill at top speed!

Now what? My last weight loss journey was great. Eating right, working out. I was a regular fluffy Jillian Michaels. My trainer was so impressed he could hardly hold it in. OR maybe it was the fact he had just finished an Iron Man competition the week before? *shrugs* No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t catch that wagon to get back on.

But now it’s time. This is for me. This time I need to keep going. Don’t stop. Stopping was my downfall. Quitting the regimen for a week while I enjoyed a vacation was unacceptable. This is a life-style. Something you don’t take a vacation from. I’m doing this for my health.

Recently, my new weight loss journey started. Slowly. Surely. More like crawling, gasping for breath as I went. But something happened…I lost weight without even trying. I was busy. Like don’t have a moment to sit down, forget to eat busy. I KNOW some people experience this.But people, I’m a fat girl. I NEVER forget to eat! Before I knew it, I stepped on the scale and had lost 6 lbs. SIX! For some that may not seem like much, but for the last year I’m lucky if I can get myself to lose anything.

Now, 6.8 lbs is where I stand today. I started this journey at 289 lbs. Yes, I’m fine with you knowing. *screams from the top of my lungs* I WEIGHED 289 POUNDS! I hope I never see this number again. I have a long way to go. I’m going to have ups and downs. I’m not going to be able to do this by myself. I have support. I will use the support.  If you ask nice, I might even share pictures along the way *gives you a hot model wink.* Either way, the adventure has begun and I’m ready for where-ever it leads me.  Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope!


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