“When Cameron was in Egypt’s land. . . let my. . .Cameron. . .gooooo.“

Some adventures are sprints to the finish while others are marathons of exhausting proportions. Weight-loss is most certainly a marathon with a lot of tripping, falling, and lets face it. . . face-planting.

I started well on my way to weight-loss success. Back on the wagon, riding off into the sunset of a better me. There’s the dreaded watching my food intake (this fat girl LOOOOOVES her five to six thousand calorie binge sessions). Add to that healthier food choices (c’mere you ADORABLE carrot nom nom nom). Pretty soon I lost 10 pounds!

YAY!

 I’M KING OF THE WORLD!

Don’t get me wrong. I know that 10 lbs is probably mostly water weight. But Guuuurl it’s TEN POUNDS! It gives you confidence that yeah…maybe I can do this. The wagon is cruisin on down the road at high speeds.

This was where it really starts however. Ten pounds is all the further my body would lose weight without a little help from that thing called: EXERCISE (*echo* *echo* *echo*). I’ve had a gym membership since the last time I lost weight. Yep, that’s right. I was one of THOSE people. You know, hold onto the gym membership saying “Maybe one day I’ll go…I should keep it.” It’s always GREAT to spend money on something you know you’re not going to use. But now it’s time. And this time, their was no hesitation!

I got those gym clothes on (after I spent a day and a half trying to find where I put them last… and that they were clean..yikes), and marched right off to the gym. Okay, maybe I didn’t march, I drove. You know what I mean.

It actually felt really good to get on that treadmill. Usually when I start back up I start slow. My body has been out of practice. But, like a blonde girl in a horror movie my brain was like, “let’s run full blast towards it” while my heart was like “danger Will Robinson…danger!” Either way I decided after a few minutes of walking I would start the couch to 5K program on my phone right there.

Honestly, it was pretty easy. I was confident. Like Ferris dancing on a parade float confident. I was really going to do this, and do it right. I was even considering entering into a 5K this summer. Because what else says adventure like running around on a bunch of inflatables for a 5k?!

Then… I hurt my back at work (*singing* I came in like a WRECKING BALL!). Crash, burn, fried like Wylie Coyote on a good day. Severe back and right hip pain. Sedentary duty at work, chiropractor, and lastly no working out. This is it, my momentum is ruined. I felt defeated.  Now what?

My brain says ‘Keep it together…don’t over eat. You can do it!’ Everything else says: EAT. ALL. THE. THINGS.

I had a momentary lapse in judgement and went to town like a competitive eating champion at an all you can eat buffet. I think I ate close to 8000 calories in one sitting. Which is impressive, even for me.

Afterward the guilt sets in. The despair. The failure. What’s the point of continuing the diet if I can’t even hang on this long? I needed something to wake me up. Break me free. I found it: myself.

No one else saved me but me. I woke up, cried a little. Picked myself back up and said this is the journey. The destination means NOTHING if the journey isn’t hard. So shut up, work on getting better, and keep going!

So I say I’m like Cameron, because at the end of that AMAZING movie he has a revelation: I’m just tired of being afraid…afraid of doing things and failing.

While I sit around and do nothing because I MIGHT fail. The journey continues, and I will keep going. My back is better. The chiropractor has given the okay to go back to working out as long as I start slow. Walking the treadmill it is. Because sometimes you can’t just sit on your a$$ as the events that effect you unfold to determine the course of your life. You have to take a stand. You have to defend it.

I will get there. I will lose weight. I can do it. 😉