Another blog post already?! And it hasn’t even been a month yet?! Call the fire department! No really…call them *waits patiently for sexy sweaty firemen to show up* No? Okay… I know my posts up until now have been of the weight-loss nature (don’t worry that’s still going strong!). However this is a blog about ADVENTURE! EXCITEMENT! My AWESOME life! No? Don’t believe that either? Gosh, 2 for 2 today. Alright, in all reality this whole blog thing is fun, and amazing, and has helped me way more than I ever thought it could. On top of that I seem to give a few people some laughs too (or maybe make them feel like there life isn’t so bad compared to mine? *wink*). It’s about me coming out of my shell (attempting to) trying new things, and not waiting around for anything to happen…it’s about making things happen. Sounds like a cheesy, made for tv movie? Yep! Now accepting auditions!
So what does that mean for this post? Well, I figure one of the biggest and toughest adventures I can put myself on is the journey to:
Not like “I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family” kind of love. But truly loving yourself, and believing you can do anything, you’re beautiful, and just all around not viewing yourself with poor self-esteem and hate. I’ll be the first to admit my self-esteem in school was less than stellar…ok it was down-wright dismal. I have already come pretty far. Like light years ahead type of far. But, I’m also the first person to say I’m nowhere near close to where I need to be. It is a struggle on a daily basis to not spend a large amount of time in the fetal position thinking everyone hates me.
(I’ll give you a minute….)
This phrase…. hello?…down here…yep…there are more words. Put them together…they make sentences. Ok…ok… I’ll give you another minute to look. *waits*
Better now? This phrase has become almost synonymous with the Supernatural fandom. Jared (on the right in the above photo…. *waits for you to stop staring*) has been open about his battles with mental illness which has helped thousands of members within the fandom. All things considered what goes on in my head is nowhere near a lot of others. But being a bigger girl, or just a girl for that matter means I’m hormonal and frankly hate myself a lot of the time.
How to fix this? That’s a good question. If you figure it out publish it and you’ll make millions. Therapy? It works for some, and can help. But to be perfectly honest other people and myself are the answer. Not getting inside my own head. When things get really bad, and you want to curl up and shut out the world there’s a simple answer for that: don’t. Call friends, go out and get together with someone or a group. Because it’s very hard to be down in the dumps while laughing with other people.
So is this the same as my other adventures? No. Not even close. However, in order to accomplish everything else…this is something that needs to be done. I don’t think I’ll ever fully accomplish loving myself. But as long as I can grow as a person and understand that what I think sometimes isn’t life’s truth, then I think I’ll do just fine. And maybe it’ll help me lose some weight along the way too. *wink* So Always Keep Fighting and Love Yourself First. 🙂
Sure…yes, of course you can scroll back up and look at the boys again. Enjoy the view.